Temporary Return

Hello Folks,

I know I haven't blogged in awhile - not since I have arrived in Vancouver. Did I have fun you ask? Well, it's been an interesting experience here. But, being the type of person I am I tend to underrate things. However, I did learn a lot while staying here. The atmosphere is significantly different and I can still remember the difference when I arrived in the airport. It was a sunny day and the morning welcomed me with fresh air. By the way, the air is a lot moist here than in Toronto, it has definitely been easier on my skin. I quickly learned my way around the campus with the help of Caroline after a couple of days.

To be honest, it is a bit lonely here because I rarely meet anyone in my program category at the residence I'm staying at. It is mostly for upper years. I am starting to see why they urge first year students to stay at first year residence and that is to network. However, I did manage to learn how to take really good care of myself and become self-dependent. Although, my social life is lacking I can sense that I have gained a variety of useful skills such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, and house keeping. How does that help me in university you ask? It teaches me to be more efficient, financially cautious (although not effectively enough!), and how to manage my time wisely.

A couple of thoughts come to mind while I write here. I am thinking about whether I should transfer my blog to wordpress as it is one of the highly suggest blogging spots with a set of useful applications. I probably wont switch anytime soon. I might need awhile to think about it. Second thing is that my first semester has exceeded my expectations. However, I am starting to slack off in second semester as expected. I skipped many classes. It is very difficult to inspire yourself to get back to work especially after having pushed yourself so hard previously. I am starting to fall behind and fail to motivate myself in trying very hard. However, I am changing that right now. I get little sparks of inspiration here and there. But, none is enough to push me far enough. I am trying to understand everything I learn and find a purpose for everything I do. But, why must I try so hard? I don't know! I might need some time to unwind.

Another thing is that I get the urge to play musical instruments such as the piano and violin (mostly the piano). I wish I had a roll up piano (like those ones on extreme deals!), it would be so great to practice with.

Inspiration

Today I have had the honour to spend time with some of my closest friends. It was quite an inspirational night. I had the opportunity to meet interesting people at the Wired community. Many of whom had attended were starters of companies and young entrepreneurs. It made me realize how much more I needed to socialize. I was not good at the passing the ball. I was only good at catching. However, nonetheless it made me realize how much potential there is in the future for me to expand my horizons (I know it is an old line). But, through all the interesting discussions of sustainability, inspirational lectures, and just plain talk it made me realize how effeciantly I spent my time. Not quite efficient enough and I want to do so much more now.

I have been missing out on a lot all my life by focusing on all the wrong things. I need to find purpose driven goals and the way to achieving them rather than finding a purpose for a goal.

Objectivity

It is something I lack... the thing that makes someone rational, gives someone clarity, and the ability to recognize when they are biased and narrow minded. That is objectivity as its definition proceeds, "judgment based on observable phenomenon and uninfluenced by emotions or personal prejudices" . Ever since I was little I have always been an emotional person and sometimes that feeling has always got the best at me.

I'm always looking for acceptance from others and that has often created the need of narcissism because I'm worried about myself being judged. However, whenever I look at the bigger picture I often realize how silly it is. But, no matter how hard I try it's become a major part of my life to think too much about myself (something that I'm steadily working on).

I just wish the world were free of societal pressures that force people into roles that they do not want to play. However, it's always there in our lives and I guess the best way to deal with it is to accept it for what it is. Not care about what others think and live your life for what it was meant to be. To be yourself.

These kinds of feelings will often eat at your soul and just harbouring them without a word let out will not make it anybetter. They will at least most certainly cause people to spawn jealousy, greed, and bitterness. I constantly have to remind myself of these things and this is not the type of person I want to be. If I want to be free of prejudices I simply have to not care of what others think of me even if they do not like my personality they will have to get use to it. I simply want to try my best and fulfill my dream... Pi...

I'm kidding, at least on the last sentence I was. How could anybody follow Pi? Unless it were in a circle. But, I guess... life is in a circle and that's what this blog is all about. In fact, it's a growing circle and as you run around it and make a lap it gets bigger and you have to run much faster to make the same lap and that is why things seem to move so much faster as you grow old. The art of math... engineering... science... are all connected in this world and that is what I want to set out to explore. For the world has so many interesting connections that one would not think of. The traditional view of these fields of studies deserve a change.

x²

Had my last entry be the only entry for this month. My blogging pattern would have shown properties of the function x². This is just a note I wanted to start this entry on and that is coincidences do happen. You know but sometimes it's questionable. I've recently had this feeling of the world that somehow just the body of knowledge and the mindset of human beings on the planet are somehow connected. Before somebody tells me this is painstakingly obvious - listen to what I refer to. Through all our actions and behaviour that we show everyday I have a feeling that we have a subtle affect on each other to acquire new knowledge. For example, there was a study on crosswords and that two groups of people were selected to do crosswords except one group did the crossword on the day it was released and the second group did it the day after it was released. The second group did significantly better. So how did the knowledge of the words get to the second group in order to make them have a much higher score? Coincidence? Maybe. But, this is just something to think about.

As for my everyday life. I sometimes wonder about how I gone about wanting to become an engineer. Was engineering meant for me or was I meant for engineering? What would have happened if I had actually achieved my previous goals of becoming an actor? I certainly am not cut out for it now. But, the experience of it lives on and all that studying in acting definitely made a difference in my life.

Another Day Another Blog

Thus far, this summer has been quite educational and yet quite boring. But, amongst all the boredom I truly believe that this has probably been one of my more productive summers. I have learned a great deal about myself and had a lot of time to self reflect upon important things such as how handle situation, how to be responsible and the way I interpret my surroundings. Apart from those things were my younger cousins and that I learned about their everyday lives and subculture in the small town of Guelph.

Upon getting home I almost instantaneous was susceptible to all the foreign yet familiar dust particles that my body had immediately reacted upon. This did not however, distract me from my thoughts, and that was I have been questioning my major as of recently. Certainly Mechanical Engineering is what I've originally aspired for. But, now I really want to question whether it is what I want. I know that Mechanical Engineering is definitely a popular trade out there. However, I've been concerned about where all the focus in the development of technology has been going. How far does mechanics go before I hit a road block or find it very difficult to touch upon new discoveries. A lot of the credit these days appear to go to chemical engineers for synthesizing new and exotic materials that the world has never seen before. Computer engineers continually develop more advanced software and interactive user interfaces for people to work with. I however, start to question where has the discoveries of the mechanical engineer come into play these days?

A silly question though, because as I type I most certainly start to realize that mechanical engineering is interdisciplinary and that having access to new synthesized materials could in fact give us more raw materials to work with. Not to mention come up with cool inventions. However, thus ends my train of thought. For you readers out there thanks for reading I hope that you guys have found some mild entertainment out of my rambling.

A little understanding

Everyday, I begin to understand more about being a big brother. Although, sometimes I feel pressured by my uncle to complete tasks on time. I think I'm doing okay. It's a great experience to work with all kinds of people and not to mention to be able to diversify yourself. For every person that you come across in your life their qualities seem to rub off on you and you understand more about the people around you and also yourself.

On the other hand I am getting a bit distracted as of late have not been planning ahead (which I should). I need to stay focused on my readings or else I may not be prepared for next year.

Chemistry... Chemistry... Chemistry...

dot dot dot... These days I've been reading my chemistry book in preparation for next year. The goal is quite ambitious and I have a lot of skepticism about being able to complete it. At the same time I still require to improve my English. If I apply for a transfer credit in chemistry I would not get a response until I was 2 months into the program. Not to mention I need to take a first year English course and I had not taken English in 2 years. My schedule currently holds 7 courses in the first semester and 6 in the second. But, you know. I don't mind. I want to be able to discipline myself.

I also face a lot of scrutiny for I am guilty of not transferring my math credits and taking on second year level math. It is just that a part of me feels ill-prepared. The part of me that did not give my all in Calculus 2 and Linear Algebra. The worst part was that I still ended up with a good grade that I did not deserve (one of the courses were coordinated terribly) and there is no satisfaction in a reward not earned through hardship.